Drummin' Mama - by Cade

Of course, I had to give the drums a go too!

Yup, my last post, all lies!  Ok, maybe that’s stretching it a bit.  However, I have not once since then kept my resolve enough to get up at the crack of dawn and only once made it up before normal.  And only on that day did I leave my computer at the designated time . . . so yes, I lied!!!  Sorry.

I am by nature a night owl and have decided to resolve to accept myself just as I am.  In fact, I admitted on a phone call at 10am this morning that I was “just getting my eyes open good.”  Truth!  But here it is 1:20am and I have been working since we got home at 8:30pm, so these are productive times for me.  I just have to accept me for me.

Got to ride my new bike today.  The saying is true “it is just like riding a bike” — I don’t know how long it has been since I rode one but I picked it up like I had never put it down and LOVED it.  The wind streaming through my hair, the sense of freedom.  I am really looking forward to getting a bike rack on my car so we can go on trail rides (without the MOUNTAINS we have to ride near our house.)  Alas, it’s going to cost almost $500 to get said bike rack because my wondrous car (Honda Element) does not support the cheaper ones, unless I only had one child’s bike to take with.  (And just for the record, despite this sarcasm, I LOVE my car!  If you have ever thought about an Element I will sell you on it – not kidding!)  So for now, I will have to beg my dad in his spare time to drop us off and pick us up at bike trails in the bed of his pickup.

Cade and I also got to experience a paddle boat while Hannah was at dance.  The last time I was on one of those was back in 1997 when I first moved to Chicago.  Today it was way more AWESOME because I got to spend QT with my favorite man in the whole world and opened his eyes to a whole new experience.  Being a single mom, my alone time with each child is VERY precious (at least to me) and today’s 1 hour in that boat is definitely at the top of my list favorite time’s with Cade.  So if you have a chance, and the weather turns favorable for you, go find a little park and take your favorite person on a paddle boat ride.  Oh, and just a hint: take some bread to feed the ducks who will wander close, so close you could pet them.

That’s my update for tonight and I’m heading to bed.  Got some major work projects to work on over the next couple of days and my3rd of 10 foster care training nights.  Oooh, and have a health update since my “stroke” but will save that for another night.

Wishing you a blissful night sleep!

~hope

The last several months have been hard.  We’ve been through rampant medical issues with both the kids and myself recently.  Had some time off work that set me back a bit financially.  And just had the winter-ickies with all the unanticipated snow and cold weather.  Now don’t get me wrong, it certainly hasn’t been all bad, we’ve had some great adventures on our 3 week road trip.  Enjoyed sledding and playing in the snow here. And really came to appreciate all our blessings of plenty of food and a warm house.  But, this weekend, I personally rediscovered the joy of spending time with my kids.  And I got to put some serious thought into our lifestyle and some changes I/we need to make to improve it.

I had planned to incorporate some changes into our schedule this past Monday, but the whole “stroke scare” kind of sent everything into a tailspin.  After a week of medical visits and tests, I have decided I’m done worrying about it.  I will deal with it as much as I can and move on.  So here I am.  Ready to incorporate those changes I had thought through and now more.  So I figured the best way to hold myself accountable would be to put them out and there in cyber world and garner whatever support and accountability I can get. (Not to mention, typing them up, cements them more formally and concretely in my subconscious.)

So here goes:

1. I pulled Cade out of his MMO program this Spring because 1) we were going  to be gone and I didn’t see the need to pay for a full session and attend only half and 2) he has really shown an interest in learning to read so need to dedicate some more “school time” to him.  So beginning tomorrow, we will do 10-15 minutes every other day together on reading/writing.  Multiply that by two since they are at individual levels and seems very achievable.
2. Consciously change my sleep habits to get up earlier, goal = out of bed by 7:30am during the week.  (And according to the experts, I should try and maintain that same time or close to it on the weekends – not sold on that one yet.)  My first thought was to get up and out of the house on a walk, bike ride, something with the kids.  BUT that means, waking them up, getting them dressed, dealing with “I’m hungry” that much earlier.  So my thought is, if I could get up, throw on some workout clothes and get to my office by say 7:35am, I could get an hour or more work in before they get up, therefore, allowing me to hit the road/walk/bike with them for a 30 minute or so jaunt at that time.  I will have to tote my phone along, but I would have a headstart on my work day with no phone/kids interruptions and planned out the rest of the day too.  I think this will work.  (I’ve already set my alarm for 7:15am – wish me luck!)
3. With #2 in mind, I need to get to bed earlier, as I am definitely a night owl by nature.  So to get the designated 8 hours, I need to be in bed, lights out by 11pm at the absolute latest.  Therefore, I will start a new night routine of getting away from my computer no later than 9pm, and using the last 2 hours of my day to do something I enjoy and not something I HAVE to do (i.e. work.)  So tonight I picked up a bunch of house design magazines to start really focusing on the house design I’ve been dreaming of building for most all my adult life AND I have my scrappy space all set up and ready to go.  This will allow me to be more effective in my ME time goals and help me relax to get into bed and to sleep at a decent hour.  Oh, and I bought a journal to do as my last ritual of the night to get things out of my head that seem to be me up pondering to all hours.
4. Exercise more!  Ok, I know every woman and lots of men in America say that.  But I”m serious.  I have 100 lbs I want to lose this year.  I have changed my eating habits – given up soda, made one meal a day all raw veggies, started chugging water/grean tea and just generally getting smarter about my overall choices.  So exercise is the next step.  This was really put into perspective for me this weekend when the kids and I spent most all of Saturday outside.  The weather was perfect.  I went walking while they rode their scooters.  We then headed to the playground where I pushed them on the swing and then we played hide and seek.  IT WAS A BLAST!  And it was the first time I left my phone at home in who knows how long!  So since doing some sort of organized workout thing is not going to work for me, I am going to dedicate my weekends with the good weather coming, to being outdoors with the kids.  I am so dedicated to the idea that I went and bought a bike today.  We’re going to go trail riding (paved trails that is) as soon as I teach them how to ride without their training wheels!  And I’m really excited about it!

Ok, I think that about sums it up.  Now I look at the list and it doesn’t seem that awe-inspiring, but I feel that making these four changes in my/our daily lives will have a HUGE impact.  So it’s now 9:05pm.  I’m getting off the computer and headed to do some ME time stuff.  See ya at the crack of dawn tomorrow . . .

~hope

Like my title.  Yes, I’ve been reading my regular blogs and all their titles are eye catching and intriguing, I’m just not made that way.  I can’t come up with something witty on the fly.  My specialty is sarcasm as pretty much anyone who has ever spoken to me knows.  And yes, it does get me in trouble quite a bit as people who don’t know me, think I’m being serious and then feelings get hurt and people cry (men and women alike) and then I feel bad and then I have to apologize and explain . . . you get the drift.  And no matter how much I try to control my mouth, it just keeps running, full of sarcastic remarks.  So there you have it.  I’m sarcastic, I know it and if you don’t like it, well, get over it.

I just checked my Post list and I have almost a dozen posts that I have started and not finished over the last several weeks.  And frankly, I think I’m just going to delete them all.  This is my no holds barred place to chat about me, my life, the munchkins, my work, etc. but sometimes, somethings are just too hard to share even on this seemingly anonymous platform.  So I’m going to delete them and just start afresh now and it’s nice to be able to do that . . .

So what’s new, old and everything in between??  Well, so much has happened in the last three weeks that I’ve decided just to post highlight bullets and then do quick and detailed posts on them as I have time AND more importantly I figure out how to transfer movies from my video camera that my dad got me for Christmas to the computer.  I have finally figured out how to watch them on the TV, so step 1 done.

Here it is:

• Three weeks of travel – roadtrip style – for me and the munchkins.  When we got back Sunday night, Hannah immediately asked when we were going back and Cade wanted to know when we could stay in another hotel.  I believe both of my children have my travel bug.  And that makes me happy.
• Two days of skiing school for both kids.  I hadn’t planned on Cade going, wasn’t sure he could/would handle it well, but he shocked me and did AWESOME the first day, not so much the second.  On the other hand, Hannah is a natural and was coming down the regular slopes on the second day like a pro.  I was a super proud mommy and caught a bit of it on video – yeah!!!
• First time ice skating for both munchkins and mommy hit the ice for the first time in over 10 years.  We switched this time, Cade was a natural and went out like a relatively stable beginner.  Hannah had to use the “walkers” provided for the first day but seemed to catch on the second.  Again, caught it on video.  Now Mommy was not so hot.  While I would like to blame it on rental skates, I fear that my ankles have just weakened that much since those grueling figure skating lessons so many years ago.  My head knows what to do, but I’m not sure my ankles can comply any longer.
• Stayed in some very cozy hotels with indoor pools and the kids LOVED being able to swim with the snow falling outside.  Mommy loved the jacuzzis after the days on the road.  Several times we were “stuck” at hotels so enjoyed it even more.
• Hannah conquered the United States puzzle I had brought along to serve as our geography lesson manipulative and can easily recognize most of the states when I make them “disappear.”  She can also trace the path we travelled and has already picked several other places we need to go.
• Cade got caught on video using his favorite word these days “hate” and has since suffered the consequences at the hands of many.  He was a handful of disobedience, defiance and disrespect for the majority of the trip.  He exhausted me and made me cry.  And most of the time, I don’t know what to do with him.  But on those rare moments where he smiles up at me or cuddles up close and falls asleep (and I do mean VERY rare,) I fall in love with my little man all over again.
• Got to spend time with and meet some clients whom I had never met in person before (and some I had) and it was AWESOME.  I am so grateful that my work allows me to travel and work from the road and meet these fascinating talented people whom I have the honor of working with.
• So everyone has a story of drama on a trip.  With only one adult and two children, our drama was definitely minimal (aside from Cade’s mentioned above.)  We scheduled our time wisely. Kept plenty of medication for whatever ailed us on hand and luckily no one broke anything or came worse for the wear.  But we did have one pretty major incident.  *drum roll please*  Mommy fell down the stairs.  It was 2am the first night in Chicago at my father in laws.  Cade was walking in front of me on the stairs and mommy fell from the very top.  No I wasn’t drinking or on drugs or anything else.  And contrary to the kids’ dad, I did not do it on purpose hoping to break my neck and be paralyzed or worse dead.  But I did fall – all the way down, head first, landing on my head/neck.  And I have the bruises all over my body still to prove it.  But no other damage.  And miraculously, somehow, I did not hit Cade on my fall down.  The paramedics came, I chose not to go to the hospital and am fine.  Maybe I’ll write on this more later, but please don’t make fun of me too much

I think that sums up my bulleted points.  And I feel better to have almost completed a post now.  So I’m going to close and head out to pick up the munchkins from homeschool co-op.  We are still getting settled back in and must get some groceries in the house today before it starts snowing again *blah

More later, your black and blue friend,

~hope

I just checked the timestamp of my last post – egad!  I can’t believe it’s been so long.  But I do have a VERY reasonable excuse – we’ve been really sick around here.  And today is the first day in over two weeks that my ears aren’t clogged, you know that feeling you get when the plane takes off.  Yes, every day, all day for the last two weeks.  Just miserable.

So this post is just to remind myself that I need to write here again soon.  Have much to say -

1. Blizzard of 2010
2. Work Woes
3. Super mom complex or better yet Flop mom these days

Yes, lots has happened even though we’ve been pretty much holed up since Hannah first came down with her sickies.  Did spend the last several days at my parents because I was just exhausted and our house on the hill was pretty scarey with all the ice.

But for today, I must get out and prepare for more snow and ickiness.  Need groceries, need a blender (another long story) and definitely need some movies to tide us through so more lock down days.  (Definitely one of those times, I wish I splurged on cable.)

More later . . .

~hope