“It looks like you have had a stroke”

Those were the words calmly spoken by my local Med Express doctor on Sunday.  I just smiled and said “ok.”

What was I thinking??? Shouldn’t I fall apart and start tearing my clothes and whining about whoa is me?!  Shouldn’t I worry?  I did not.   I did none of those things.

I calmly walked out of the doctor’s office with the news that they would call me the next morning to tell me when to report for a CT Scan to assess the damage and went to Burger King to have lunch with my kids who had just gotten out of church after spending the night with their beloved Gramzi (my mom.)  Then I went home to meet Dre who was coming to take us spring clothes shopping for the kids and out to dinner at his favorite restuarant.

Then, at 9pm at night after the kids were tucked in, I sat down at my computer, pulled up WebMD, did my research and broke down.  A TIA, iso-something and some other kind of stroke.  Treatments, causes, chances of reoccurrence.  I was totally and completely freaked out.

A new pain, behind my right ear, oh no, I”m doing to die. So what did I do, call my mom, of course.  In her compassion, she says “Well, if you need to go to the hospital, drive the kids over here and I’ll watch them for you.” WHAT!!!!!  I’m having a stroke, I’m dying and you tell me “drive the kids over here” . . .

Ok, but that post is not about that.

So it’s 3 days later.  I’ve had all the blood I have available drawn out of me on two separate occassions.  Got brain x-rayed with a CT scan with a lovely and very painful drip of dye going in through my arm and spent two hours at a neurologist who originally told me they couldn’t see me until the end of April.

Now I’m to go tomorrow to have a brain MRI.  And the really lovely thing about it . . .

Well, I got a call today by the lab, who mind you I have already visited twice in the last two days.  They wanted to verify my information . . . again!  And then to tell me that the test was going to cost me $2500 dollars out of pocket before my insurance, who we pay over $1000 per month for (and NEVER use) would not cover it.  Are you kidding me?!?

So I promptly called the neurologist to ask if this test was absolutely necessary because I’m certain I’ve spent a couple months salary on the tests and dr. visits already.  They didn’t call me back, of course.  But I, in my infinite wisdom and desire to defy all odds, have decided that I am not dying.

My face may be a bit wonky, but I’ve had that before (Bell’s Palsy in 2002) and I may inadvertently bite my tongue when I chew or spit things out on accident.  But I am not paying $2500 for this stupid test!!!!  End of discussion.  I don’t know if I’ve had a stroke.  I figure my Bell’s Palsy has returned.  And I’m not going to spend my vacation money for the summer on this crap.

I’m sure the medical professionals I have seen are great and care about my health as much as they do anyones.  But I think more importantly they are COVERING THEIR A** in case something else is going on.  I will take full responsibility.  This is my testament to that.

And now, we will resume regular every day programming on this channel and in my life!

To your health,

~hope