“I don’t know, what do you want to do?”  How many nights have you heard or even said those words?

My husband and I have been married for 8.5 years and our “date night” are lacking in romance or creativity. I feel like a lot of people that have been married for some time (over 5 years) feel the same way I do. What is it about marriage that gets us into a routine so deep that we forget we need to be creative with one another when it comes to a simple date night?

For the last few weeks I have been watching how we plan our date night. Sad to say, but usually our days off together, we do not plan for a date but to relax and veg-out together and most of the time this is just what I need after a long week or weeks.

I noticed when I would tell my husband “Babe, we have this Friday night of together, lets do something fun.” (Hint ..Hint.. Hint..) He would agree and when the time came I would ask what he had in mind and he would ultimately say “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” That is the worst statement ever ….It puts everything on me and it leaves me feeling as if he was not as excited about the “date night” as I was. Expectations that are not met can hurt. So, why have them at all, right????

In the past I have mentioned to him that I want him to plan an evening every so often. He will agree and it either didn’t happen or it’s just dinner and a movie; nothing new, nothing different and nothing creative. It drives me crazy, not to mention it makes me feel like I not worth it for him to do something above and beyond.

Years ago on our first anniversary he did a great job setting up our date at The Melting Pot, he had the wine picked out, the booth in a very dark corner with chocolate and champagne glasses. It was perfect. When he realized how much I enjoyed it he decided that he wanted to take me to a different Melting Pot every year after that. I didn’t realize it then but this meant after a long day we would have to drive 1 – 3 hours away to eat in a restaurant that had the same food as a Melting Pot down the street. NOT something I really wanted to do. So last year I canceled our date all together. Sounds like I am a BRAT right? I was too tired and I needed him to know I wasn’t for that.

Now, if he made a point to have a 2 day vacation planned and wanted to take me to a really cool place and it happened to have a Melting Pot then I get it but not the other way. I guess what I am looking for is the effort that he puts into the date itself..I do not want to put everything on him. If I am feeling this way I wonder if he feels the same. So I asked myself, what have I done lately to show creativity on date night? The answer is NOTHING. So, I am to blame just as much as he is.

So, I am going to do something about it. I have decided to turn a corner and dedicate myself to planning a “date night” once a month.  I will tell you what I have done and how it all went. If you have any good suggestions I would love to hear read them.

Stay tuned…